Dr Brian Pennie: ‘I lost 15 years to heroin addiction but I wouldn’t take them back if I’d lose the happiness I have today’

I would say I’m 10 out of 10 agreeable, but that’s not agreeable in a passive way. I’d be agreeable with stuff that I’m aligned with, and values I’m driven by. If I don’t agree with something and it goes against my values, it will be a hard no.
My middle name is Thomas. I used to not like it, but now that I’ve been asked about it for the first time in probably 20 years, I think I like it.
My mam’s sittingroom. She lives in Blanchardstown. When you said that the word home came to mind and that’s where home is.
Energetic. Enthusiastic. Determined.
I don’t get angry much, but it would have been about a week ago. A combination of lots of things built up – work, I was very, very busy with work; not getting out to exercise, disagreements within the family, but just mediocre, little things. I’d never take my anger out at that, so when a knot was bothering me, I just started freaking out at the knot. And then I caught myself again very quickly.
I don’t regret it, but 15 years of addiction, chronic addiction. I was addicted to heroin. I lost a lot of time – the physical prime of my life I suppose. But what I’ve gained from that has been massive. It’s a tough one. For the gains I got for losing those 15 years, I wouldn’t take them back if I was to lose what I’ve gained, which is the mindset, and the clarity, and the happiness I have today.
Playing football out in my back garden, on my own. I created a little wooden goal for myself and I used a blanket for a net. I had friends, it wasn’t that, but I just remember being out in my back garden playing football over and over again. It was a happy memory. It wouldn’t be a lonely memory.
I come second. I’m the second eldest and I think it has defined me to an extent. I’d be definitely more confident. I think that’s the case with many second-born kids. I think they’ve had the support of the sibling.
I expect nothingness to be honest. I believe the self dies, the personality dies. But I do believe there’s an energy that will go on and continue. But Brian, as a sense of self will be gone. It will be a nothingness.
[ From 15 years of heroin addiction to becoming a neuroscience lecturerOpens in new window ]
Probably right now, isn’t that a beautiful thing to say? I found love for the first time. We moved into our new home. Business is great. My relationships with my family are super. My health is great. My energy is great. I feel aligned with my life right now.
Michael Fassbender. I’ve been told again and again that I look like Michael Fassbender. I’m not tall. I think Michael Fassbender is tall.
Not playing football. I was quite a talented footballer. I got injured. I got into addiction and I never fulfilled that potential. But specifically, with the mindset that I have today, if I was able to apply the mindset that I have today, I would have really made the most out of my talent. That’s a big miss, because I’m upset because I love football so much.
I’m fiendishly childish when it comes to playing with kids and dogs and puppies and stuff like that. So, if that’s a psychological quirk, you can throw that in.